Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
