that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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