Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
