I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need water and some morals
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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