Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I party with great urgency now.
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