There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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