Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize