I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
