dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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