What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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