So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
