we're blogging at a bar
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
