Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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