a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
