I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
