Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
