my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Houston, we have a squirter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
