She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
