Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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