Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
