he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
