Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
