i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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