I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
