I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
