btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
