Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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