508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
