WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Farmville is her only friend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just gargled with NyQuil
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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