yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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