Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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