I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
