I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
