Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
