Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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