I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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