Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
