White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
