I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
