yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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