I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm really busy with my period
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