He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
