you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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