fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
