just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought