just survived the first fart of the relationship.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.