I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid