help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??