did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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