I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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