you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize