id be glad to
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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