Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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