I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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