Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
