he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
