Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize