Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
