didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
