So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
