I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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