my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
PANTIES FOUND
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