Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
