Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
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Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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