Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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