i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
